Luke 15:25–32. When Jesus tells the parable of the prodigal son, He introduces two brothers. We usually focus on the younger son: the one who ran away, wasted everything, and then returned humbled. But Jesus included the older brother for an important reason. His story isn’t about a dramatic rebellion, but quiet resentment, self-pity, and pride hidden behind faithful service.

Imagine the older brother: always responsible, always working, always doing what was asked. He never caused trouble, never openly disobeyed, and never embarrassed his father. By all appearances, he was the model son. But beneath his good behavior there was a heart that was bitter, resultful and proud.

When the younger brother finally came home, broken and ashamed, their father threw a huge celebration. But notice the older brother’s response:

“Look! All these years I’ve been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends.” Luke 15:29

Notice he says, “slaving”, this shows us that the older brother saw his obedience as painful work and toil rather than devotion. He sees himself as a martyr who is unappreciated, overlooked, and misunderstood. But his true problem is deeper: he’s angry that someone less deserving received grace. He believed blessing should be earned, and he felt cheated.

The father’s gentle response exposes the older brother’s heart clearly:

“My son,” the father said, “you are always with me, and everything I have is yours.” (Luke 15:31)

In other words, “You haven’t lost anything. You have my love, my presence, and my blessing every single day, but you’ve stopped seeing it.” This older brother lived in his father’s house, but he missed his father’s heart.

The older brother believed that because he did everything outwardly right, then his own heart must be right. He believed that loyal service automatically meant spiritual health – but beneath the surface, was a heart that was proud and resentful. Loyalty without agape love hardens. 

1 Samuel 16:7 But the LORD said to Samuel, “…I have rejected him. For the LORD sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the LORD looks on the heart.”

This older brother’s self-pity makes him feel righteous in his bitterness. He sees himself as a martyr—unappreciated, overlooked, and misunderstood. But his true problem is deeper: he’s angry that someone less deserving received grace. He believed blessing should be earned, and he felt cheated.

But here’s the real danger: bitterness and self-pity distort our view of God. We start seeing Him not as a loving Father, but as someone withholding good things from us. We become jealous of grace given to others because we forget the grace we’ve already received. We also become resentful of our spiritual fathers, feeling overlooked and undervalued by them.

It’s tempting to think self-pity is harmless. But it’s actually pride disguised as humility. It robs us of joy, poisons our hearts, and blinds us to God’s goodness. Whenever we see ourselves in the older brother, we must repent – not of rebellion, but of pride. Then, we stop keeping score, stop serving to be seen, and we stop comparing. We go to the Father, not to demand what’s fair, but to remember what’s already ours. God isn’t looking for perfect behavior, He’s looking for hearts that are pure!